My two world's have officially collided in Phoenix Arizona. The Raptors and the WWE are in the same town on the same day. Clearly the Raptors need some motivation so how about we have some WWE Superstars attempt to motivate the Raptors. This has the potential to be a total train wreck of a blog or one of the best ever. So are you ready? I SAID ARE YOU READY? Than for thousands reading this blog and the millions that really should be......Let get ready to S%#K IT!!!
Up first Santino Marella.
Santino: So really I have just one question? Where is he?
Amir: He who?
Santino: My all time favourite basketball player? Andrea Bargnani!!! That is one reason I am doing this to get an autograph and picture.
Amir: Well he ain't here so guess your out of luck.
Santino: Some one is going to pay for this and it might just be you my big tattooed basket baller.
( Santino attempts to apply the cobra. but is far to short so he grabs a chair stands on it and Amir blocks the cobra and takes the chair smashes Santino with it then slams him into the locker room door and throws him out )
(Kane's Theme music plays and in walks the 7 foot masked monster)
Kane: I know why you all lose. You are to nice. You must embrace the hate. (He looks at Demar DeRozan) You need to channel your anger and take it out on your opponent. You will not win until you drive to the net with hate in your heart. Then and only then will you find what you are looking for.
Rasaul Butler(Under His Breath): This is stupid. Everyone knows Wrestling is fake.
Kane(Turns to Butler): I am fake? I have seen you play and you are impersonating a basketball player. I will show you fake!!!
(Kane picks up Butler by the throat slams him into a Locker and chock slams him into a laundry bin.)
Kane: Any Questions?
(Kane Leaves and the lights in the Locker room go out. A figure with lights flashing on his jacket extends his arms and posses then exits and lights come back on)
Jose: Who was that?
Jamaal: Chris Jericho he is Canadian like me.
( Zack Ryder enters the locker room)
Aaron Gray: Zack Ryder you are my hero man.
Zack Ryder: Thanks Broski.
Jose: What is a Broski?
Aaron Gray: It is like what you would call an amigo.
Zack: Was Kane here?
Demar: He Definitely was just ask Rasaul!!!
( Zack looks in the Laundry bin and sees Rasaul Butler laid out)
Zack: Looks like Kane had a slam dunk. Anyway I was told you guys needed some motivation or something. So basically I was a no talent hack and started doing a show on Youtube became popular and got to become a star.
Amir: I make funny videos.
Zack: Cool how many hits do your videos get I am at like 100k a week.
Zack: Sorry bro!!! Any way time for me to go. make sure you like me on Facebook....Follow me on Twitter and buy all this cool Zack Ryder Stuff on WWE.Com....Take Care and Spike your Hair....WOO WOO WOO....You Know It!!!
Aaron Gray: Bye Zack!!! I think I am going to Spike my hair like "The Birdman"
(Zack sticks his head in the door)
Zack (Looks at Amir) Anyone ever told you that you look like Andre 3000?
(Amir throws a towel at the door and Zack leaves. In walks John Cena wearing a throw back Celtics Jersey)
John Cena: Later Zack. Hey guys. Now I am here to help you become more like a good team, like the Boston Celtics. See they, like me have " Hustle, Loyalty and Respect" It all starts from there.
Raptors (as a group): CENA SUCKS!!! CENA SUCKS!!!
(Cena turns and heads for the door)
John Cena (Talking to himself) : Seriously the Toronto Raptors told me I suck? They would know right? Maybe I do suck....No your John Cena and you are loved by millions of kids under the age of 13 and you do not suck!!!
Demar: You know maybe this is working that is the first thing we have done as a team all year!!!
(C.M Punk the WWE Champion enters the Locker Room. )
C.M Punk: What are you doing in my locker room.
James Johnson: This is our locker room.
C.M Punk: I am the best in the world and I got this (Raises the WWE Championship)
James Johnson: I train in MMA I don't sweat you.
C.M Punk: That a fact so I am suppose to be scared now right? You want to hear some reality. All of you basketball players are soft. You never had to earn anything in your privileged jock existence. You sign million dollar contracts and forget where you come from. I have seen fights in basketball games and trust me I don't sweat anyone in this room.
James Johnson: You talk a lot of smack for a little guy.
C.M Punk: Least I have reason to talk smack what have you done? You are the starter on one of the worst teams in the NBA. Congratulations!!!
James Johnson: We're just having some bad luck!!!
C.M Punk: Luck is for losers. What you all need to do is ask yourself if you want things to change. So do you!!!
Raptors (as a group) Yes!!!
C.M Punk: So what are you going to do about it!!!
Raptors (As A Group) Pound The Rock?
C.M Punk: Pounding the Rock is nice. I am not a fan. But honestly I don't need your help to do that, you need to pound the other team. Anyway this has all been fun in a strange sort of way. But I really have better things to do like tweet to my followers on Twitter. So later.
(James Johnson attacks C.M Punk from behind. Putting him in a rear naked chock hold. C.M Punk kicks him the groin and walks out )
Linas: I guess that means I am starting tonight.
(Andrea Bargnani walks in)
Andrea: I have good news. Tonight I am going to play.
Raptors (as group): About Damn Time.
( Santino Morella rushes back into the locker room)
Santino: Son of gun. It is you. I am your number 1 fan. This is a big honour for Santino. Can we get a picture?
(Santino gets on a chair stands on it next to Andrea and loses his balance falling on Bargnani's foot)
Amir: Now see what you did.
Andrea: I think it's broken.
Raptors as a group have a collective Sigh!!
Hope you enjoyed this. No basketball players or WWE Superstars were hurt in the actual writing of this blog. The opinions expressed are totally 100% fake and would never actually happen. But in a season like this it sure beats talking about losing every single day.